S, 10 things for you to know before you turn 10!

I found a letter like this on pinterest and loved it.  After I wrote one for T, I wanted the same thing for S.  I took S out for ice cream, and I gave her this letter.  I told her that she could read it to herself, or I could read it to her.  She choose for me to read it to her.  Bad Idea!!!  I started crying!!!  At one point she looked at me and said, “maybe we should take a break!”  It was good to have that time with her.  After reading the letter we talked about a lot of things and it was just good to have that time alone with her.


1. It is not your job to keep the people you love happy.  Not me, not Daddy, not your sister, not your friends.  I promise, it’s not.  The hard truth is that you can’t anyway.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you!

2. You should never be afraid to share your passions. You love to draw, you love to read, you love to play Barbies.  You LOVE to ride horses!  Anyone who teases you for what you love to do is not a true friend.  This is hard to realize, but essential.

3. It is okay to disagree with me, and others. You are old enough to have a point of view, and I want to hear it!  So do those who love you.  Don’t pick fights for the sake of it, of course, but when you really feel I’m wrong, please say so.  You have heard me say that you are right, and you’ve heard me apologize for my behavior or point of view when I realized they were wrong.  Your perspective is both valid and valuable.  Don’t shy away from expressing it.

4. You are so very beautiful. Your face now holds the baby you were and the young woman you are rapidly becoming.  Those freckles across your nose make me smile.  My eyes and  dimples and your father’s smile combine into someone unique, someone purely you.  Your beauty is not only outward, but inward.  You have such a kind, loving heart.  You notice when people need love.  You have a calming way to comfort others in a way most don’t.  When you hug someone you can see in their face the calmness that it brings.  USE IT!  The Lord has given you this gift of “touch” for a reason.  Don’t stop showing your love!

5. You are so smart.  School can be challenging.  It was for me!  Certain subjects might be harder than others.  Just keep working at them.  Take one problem at a time, and don’t get overwhelmed with all of it, all at once.  Keep up the good work, stay organized, stay focused.

6. You are not me. We are very alike, but you are your own person, entirely, completely, and  fully.  I know this, I promise, even when I lose sight of it.  I know that one of these days you won’t need me as much anymore.  Just know I’m going to be here, no matter what, S. F.

7. It is almost always never about you. What I mean is that when people act in a way that hurts or makes you feel insecure, it is almost certainly about something happening inside of them, and not about you.  I struggle with this one myself, and I have tried very, very hard never once to tell you you are being “too sensitive” or to “get over it” when you feel hurt.  Believe me, I know how feelings can slice your heart, even if your head knows otherwise.  Jealousy is a real thing and happens more often than it should between women.  If they are jealous, it means that YOU have something inside of you, that they WANT!  It means YOU’RE AWESOME, AND THEY KNOW IT, AND THEY WANT IT!  Never forget my words…”We will not allow anyone to decide for us, how we feel about ourselves.”

8.  Boys will be boys!  HAVE HIGH STANDARDS, and never apologize for having high standards!  People who want to be in your life, will rise up to meet them!  The Lord has the perfect man for you.  He has him already picked out!  Pray for him NOW, before you meet him!  I prayed for your Daddy before I met him!  No boy should be more important than the Lord.  No boy should ask you to do things you know goes against what the Lord wants for you.  You may find yourself one day questioning why Dad and I say NO to you dating a certain boy!   We have seen many friends and family make the wrong choices and struggle through life.  We are only doing it for you!  The Lord and your Dad and I only want you to have the perfect life!

9.  Your sister is always the first female friend, you will have.  No one will be able to understand your craziness like your sister, and there will be a time when you may not be able to see each other as much as you like, but she will always be there and remain a friend for life.  She will be there when you need her the most.  Aunt K and I have always been close.  I hope that you girls will remain close and share everything as you do now!  I hope you have the relationship that Aunt K and I do.  When you fight, remember, “YOU ARE FAMILY”.  You don’t give up on family!  Even if you KNOW the other one is wrong, apologize!  Fix it!  Humble yourself for the sake of your sister if you have to!  You need her!

10. I am trying my best.  I know I’m not good enough and not the mother you deserve.  Almost every day I ask myself, “Do I want her to be like me?”…NO!  I want you to be better than me!  I want you be like Jesus!

…And one to go on!  I love you and your sister more than I could ever express. Everyday, as you know, I pray for you to have “Strength and Energy and Wisdom and Courage to deal with each situation.”  Pray for those for yourself.  Always tell the truth, Use kind words, Keep your promises, Laugh and Giggle, Be Positive, Love one Another, Always be grateful, Forgiveness is MANDATORY, Try new things, Say Please and Thank you, Say your Prayers, and SMILE!  I love your smile! (…and your freckles 😉 )



One response to “S, 10 things for you to know before you turn 10!

  1. This is such a great letter, Kristen! But you are wrong on #10. You ARE more than “good enough.” You are amazing! And you are just exactly the mother she deserves and needs.

    All the things you said about S are so true. I can attest to her kind, loving and comforting heart. I remember when I was with you at church on Mother’s Day the year mom died. Tears were rolling down my face and S must slid over next to me and put her arm around me. Such a sweet, quiet gesture. Love her heart!

    Liked by 1 person

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