Invisible

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T and S,

Did you know mom had a life before you?  No seriously!  I can hardly imagine my life without you girls now,  but I went to school, had parents and a sister who loved me to the moon and back, had a curfew,  had a few (sorry Daddy) car crashes, had boyfriends, and had bad days just like you do.  I had a life too.   So when I am holding you on the couch while you cry about your bad day,  and I whisper, “I know!”, I REALLY DO!

I HATED school.  I hated going.  I felt horrible about myself most days.  See,  I was bullied.  I didn’t know it was bullying back then, but I do now.

The stories I could tell you…they are all still very vivid in my mind.  I will never forget what they did, or who they were, but I’ve also learned from them.

I’ve learned that it’s not always about you!  Those kids may have something going in their lives that we don’t know about, and they see what a GREAT life you have and they WANT THAT!  They want what you have!  They see the AWESOMENESS in you, and they want that!

I’ve learned to “befriend” them.  T, you have learned that yourself!  Remember how a simple smile and “good morning” to that boy in your class gave him a reason to be kind!!!!  You showed HIM that HE was not invisible!

I’ve also learned that even when you get older, there will be people on this earth that we JUST DON’T GET ALONG WITH! Sometimes we have to chose to just love from a distance.

I’ve learned I NEED to forgive!  Forgiveness doesn’t come easy.  Sometimes its a DAILY forgiveness!  Just because I chose to forgive someone, doesn’t mean that the pain isn’t still there.  Forgiveness releases me from the anger, and allows me to move on!  It is me CHOOSING a joyful life!

I’ve learned that every hurt and every unkind word, God knew about before it happened, and He was right there with me.  He walked me through it.

My sweet angels,  from someone who has been there,  trust me, it will BE better.   The pain will diminish.  Not go entirely, but will dim enough that you will be able to see the hurt in others and you may be able to help them.

Always remember what I’ve told you, over and over, “I will not allow anyone else to choose for me how I will feel about myself.”  No one has that right!

You KNOW I have your back, but you also KNOW I won’t do anything that would make things “worse” for you. It’s up to YOU how “involved” I get.  You KNOW I would do anything, and fight anyone for you!  You KNOW you can tell me ANYTHING!  When you are nervous to tell me to my face, write it in our journal!  If you can’t tell Dad or I, tell EACH OTHER!  Just tell SOMEONE!  We WILL handle it TOGETHER!  YOU ARE NOT ALONE!!!

Whenever you get that “invisible” feeling,  remember you SO are important to MANY people in this world.  One of them…ME!

Most of all… the ONE who chose to die for you!  The ONE who made today for you.  The ONE who loves you more than I do (even though I don’t see how that’s possible).  Your value is not in what people tell you you are!  Your worth is in the one who created you!  Only His opinion matters, and He thinks the world of you!

Stop looking around…LOOK UP!.  He will show you how valuable you are!

Matthew 6:26

New International Version (NIV)

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?

Ephesians 2:10

New International Version (NIV)

10 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

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