I am blessed with a wonderful husband who notices when things are piling up around the house that I can’t get to. He will enlist the help of our girls and the three of them can bang out, so it shouldn’t be a shocker when I walked in the door and I see that the floors are vacuumed. I am NOT surprised, and shouldn’t be, to come home to the floors vacuumed, the dishwasher emptied, or the laundry folded.
I always thank them and let them know how much I appreciated that they took time out of their day to help me.
Let’s face it, usually the majority of the housework falls to the mom/wife’s responsibility. Here’s my problem with them doing the housework. After I have thanked them a thousand times for all the work they did, and I’m over the initial “Thanksgiving” and relief that it got done and I can now focus on something else, I start to doubt myself, and I start to wonder if they had to do it because I didn’t prioritize right or I didn’t sacrifice enough of my own time. I start feeling like they had to do it because I didn’t do it. Doubt of being a good mom/wife sets in and I start to belittle myself.
Why is it so hard for me too just accept that maybe they wanted to help out and maybe they were doing it sacrificially for me? Instead I blame myself for not getting it done!
It’s one of those THOUSANDS of times where you question yourself as a mom. I did that over and over when they were little.
Should I have fed her more veggies instead of fruits?
Should I have spanked instead of letting it go?
Should I have made her get back up on the bike, or did I do right by hugging it out?
Should we get involved in school friend problems, or let her deal with it on her own?
Yes, I took 15 minutes to get chicken in the oven instead of emptying the dishwasher, or I took 20 minutes to study with T on her science test instead of getting the glob of toothpaste out of the bathroom sink. I have to DAILY remind myself, the dust and dirt is all going to be there, but my kids are not going to be home with me for the rest of my life.
Yesterday was my 37th birthday. I had toilets to clean and sinks to scrub out. Instead, I took my girls shopping and started a puzzle.
The dirt will wait.